“Show, don’t tell.”—an exception to another rule I try to live by: “Avoid clichés.” So it only seems right that I skip the bio and show you some work.
Here are the first four chapters of my novella Fuck The Pope But Use A Condom. If a lighthearted tale about venereal disease and sociopathy isn’t your thing, there are two other pieces of fiction: one about a man who thinks he takes quite strongly after Alexander the Great, and another on the unwritten rules of sauna civility.
Many years ago, my Italian friend Tommaso cooked me a delicious risotto. “Blowjob Risotto,” he called it. “Because if you make this for your date,” he explained, “she will …” His terminology inspired bjotto, a risotto mix portioned for two—perfect for date night.
If you’ve made it this far, there are also a few golf articles (I used to be a golf instructor) and some ads.
If any of this caught you, or you just want to say hi: hey@johnnynuda.com, or @johnnynuda on X.
I’m in Cape Town, should you ever find yourself down here.
— Johann